Fortune: another from Bar Troubleshooting

fortune.mdwn

@@ -1447,6 +1447,25 @@ coletadas de anos usando `fortune(6)` ou encontradas ao acaso.
 
                     -- Bar Troubleshooting
 
+    Symptom:                Floor swaying.
+    Fault:                  Excessive air turbulence, perhaps due to air-hockey
+                            game in progress.
+    Action Required:        Insert broom handle down back of jacket.
+
+    Symptom:                Everything has gone dim, strange taste of peanuts
+                            and pretzels or cigarette butts in mouth.
+    Fault:                  You have fallen forward.
+    Action Required:        See above.
+
+    Symptom:                Opposite wall covered with acoustic tile and several
+                            flourescent light strips.
+    Fault:                  You have fallen over backward.
+    Action Required:        If your glass is full and no one is standing on your
+                            drinking arm, stay put.  If not, get someone to help
+                            you get up, lash yourself to bar.
+
+                    -- Bar Troubleshooting
+
 ## Sex
 
     Sex without class consciousness cannot give satisfaction, even if it is