example edits

play.tex

@@ -19,7 +19,7 @@ How much the troupe actually engage with their \gls{guard} missions depends on t
     Wasn't it raining last time? Are we jumping time again?
 
     \item[\gls{gm}:]
-    Yes - three weeks passes every session, so we've actually started a new `\gls{cycle}' in \gls{fenestra}.
+    Yes - three weeks passes every session.
     And as usual -- we'll start in \pgls{broch} -- one of the \gls{guard} towers which sit between \glspl{village}.
     \glsadd{broch}
     \glsadd{village}
@@ -46,7 +46,7 @@ How much the troupe actually engage with their \gls{guard} missions depends on t
     What did you do?
     \item[Alice:]
     Well, Grogfen helped a trader getting to town\ldots
-    (but I don't want to tell her about entering a town, or the \glspl{sp} she paid us)
+    (but I don't want to tell her about entering a town, or the \glsentrylongpl{sp} she paid us)
     \item[\gls{gm}:]
     So how will you explain how long the mission took?
     Remember, she has a record of when Grogfen left the \gls{jotter} who gave her the mission.
@@ -68,10 +68,11 @@ How much the troupe actually engage with their \gls{guard} missions depends on t
   \end{description}
 }{
 
-  Whenever the characters try to accomplish something dangerous, the player rolls:
+  Whenever the characters try to accomplish something with a little danger, the player rolls:
 
   $$2D6 + \underbrace{Attribute + Skill} ~vs~ \glsentrytext{tn}$$
 
+  \noindent
   When players roll above the \gls{tn}, their character succeeds.
   When they roll below, the character fails, and the danger occurs.
   When they roll a tie, then both occur -- or neither.
@@ -84,10 +85,10 @@ How much the troupe actually engage with their \gls{guard} missions depends on t
 
   $$2D6 + 1 ~vs~ 8$$
 
+  \noindent
   Sometimes a piece of equipment or a social contact can add to the roll, so the total Bonus can become very high.
   A \gls{tn} of 14 is not unreasonable in some situations.
-
-  The full formula for an action is:
+  In full, the formula is:
 
   $$2D6 + \underbrace{Attribute + Skill + Equipment} ~vs~ \glsentrytext{tn}$$
 }
@@ -135,7 +136,7 @@ How much the troupe actually engage with their \gls{guard} missions depends on t
 }{
 
   Starting equipment and beliefs all come wrapped together with the core concept in character creation.
-  This lets new people get up and running quickly.
+  This helps new people get up and running quickly.
 
   Most players end up making more interesting characters with some random input, but if players really want to decide every facet of their character, they can use the `point-buy' character creation system.
 
@@ -147,7 +148,6 @@ How much the troupe actually engage with their \gls{guard} missions depends on t
   \begin{description}
     \item[\gls{gm}:]
     Sure -- you're in a \gls{broch}, so you can ask \gls{jotter} Cartpike.
-
     Roll $2D6$, then add your \roll{Charisma}{Empathy}.
     \item[Soibhan:]
     \dicef{9}
@@ -162,12 +162,12 @@ How much the troupe actually engage with their \gls{guard} missions depends on t
   \end{description}
 
 }{
-  The \gls{gm} doesn't have an exact reference for asking for armour, but since \glspl{jotter} tend to be harsh, he sets the \gls{tn} to 10.
-
   Some people like to `roll for Charisma', because they want their characters to succeed, rather than make a performance.
   Instead of asking for acting talent, I've found it's best to have people roll, then interpret that roll.
-  This lets players plan for their characters abilities (as usual), and opens the field for failures, without demanding that players fail in the party's rolls because `it's what my character would do'.
-  Or rather, it provides mechanical justification for `what my character would do'.
+  This lets players plan for their characters abilities (as usual), and opens the field for failures with justification -- often some of the most interesting results.
+
+  Instead of \gls{pc} blunders happening because `it's what my character would do', they happen because of the dice.
+  This stops other players feeling like someone is ruining the game; they're not, they're just interpreting the result they rolled.
 }
 
 \sideBySide{