From f99f478927901226abbbde94bf1f38606e27da0b Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001
From: Malin Freeborn <malinfreeborn@posteo.net>
Date: Tue, 19 Mar 2024 09:42:57 +0100
Subject: [PATCH] style edits
---
combat.tex | 20 ++++++++++----------
play.tex | 20 +++++++++-----------
traits.tex | 30 +++++++++++++++---------------
3 files changed, 34 insertions(+), 36 deletions(-)
diff --git a/combat.tex b/combat.tex
index 7830ef40..89d6a233 100644
--- a/combat.tex
+++ b/combat.tex
@@ -79,7 +79,7 @@ Each character has a number of \glsentryfullpl{hp} equal to 6 plus their Strengt
Small gnomes typically have 4 \glspl{hp} while big, strong humans typically have 7.
Losing even a single \gls{hp} means the character has suffered serious Damage.
A long fall might have broken the character's bone.
-A dagger could have slashed open several veins.
+A dagger could have slashed veins open.
Characters do not have many \glspl{hp} so losing even one is a serious matter.
\subsubsection{Death}
@@ -299,7 +299,7 @@ Of course it stinks, and weighs a tonne, so best leave it until the most despera
\paragraph{Leather}
armour is made by boiling leather for a long time, until it becomes extremely tough.
-While anyone can pick up leather cheaply, very few have the skill to make this armour.
+While anyone can pick up leather cheaply, few have the skill to make this armour.
\paragraph{Chain mail}
is a covering of chain links, placed over some other protection.
@@ -405,10 +405,10 @@ Long bows can be fired for hundreds of yards -- the maximum range is generally m
A short bow, or `trick bow', is a smaller, lighter thing which can be used by anyone.
What it lacks in punch it makes up for in quick draw time.
As usual, for every five steps beyond the first two the archer suffers a -1 penalty to hit.
-The short bow takes 1 \gls{ap} points to fire, and 1 \gls{ap} points to reload, so many shots can be fired in a \gls{round}.
+A short bow takes \pgls{ap} to reload, and \pgls{ap} to fire an arrow, so archers can loose an arrow or two each round.
-Shortbows have a maximum range of 20 steps and deal $1D6-1$ Damage.
-They often bring down prey with multiple arrows rather than the one.
+Shortbows have a maximum range of 20 steps, and deal $1D6-1$ Damage.
+They often bring down prey with multiple arrows rather than a single, deep-penetrating arrow.
\subsubsection{The Crossbow}
\index{Projectiles!Crossbow}
@@ -462,7 +462,7 @@ While fighting blind, if the dice make a \gls{natural} roll equal to the number
If the character is fighting with just one companion then there are two of them and they hit a companion on the roll of a 2.
If they are part of a group of 5 people, any roll of 5 or under means they have accidentally hit a companion.
Companions who are accidentally hit can evade by simply spending 1 \gls{ap}.
-It is quite possible to kill a companion while fighting blind.
+It is possible to kill a companion while fighting blind.
\null
\subsubsection[Darkness: Roll Bonus cannot exceed Wits + Vigilance]{Darkness}
@@ -474,7 +474,7 @@ It is quite possible to kill a companion while fighting blind.
Fighting in the darkness, or just twilight, can give a distinct advantage to those with sharper senses.
Those who retain some basic vision while their opponents have none are in a similar situation to fighting a blinded opponent.
However, when both sides suffer from the darkness, the battle changes very little.
-Neither side can hit very accurately, but then neither side can dodge or parry very well either.
+Neither side can hit accurately, but then neither side can dodge or parry well either.
\paragraph*{When fighting in total darkness}
characters Attribute bonuses cannot go beyond the character's \roll{Wits}{Vigilance}.
@@ -666,7 +666,7 @@ The \gls{tn} is 6 plus the enemy's \roll{Speed}{Athletics} Bonuses.
Failure means the characters are instantly caught, before they are able to run anywhere.
If the players hit the \gls{tn} they manage to run through 1 area while being chased.
For every Marginal point, they run through an additional area.
-If the Margin is ever 3 or more then they completely evade the enemy.
+If the Margin is ever 3 or more then they evade the enemy.
If the troupe obtain less than total success, they and their pursuers both move and must roll again.
The table is a guide to an unaltered roll. In most situations enemy Traits will affect the actual results of such a total by increasing or decreasing the \gls{tn}.
@@ -693,8 +693,8 @@ The Empathy Skill might be used to quickly convince farmers to hide the characte
Running after prey follows exactly the same rules, but in reverse.
The players roll to have the \glspl{pc} catch their prey.
As per the previous chart, a near-failure can be worse than a total failure.
-With a complete failure, the enemy simply gets away.
-With a partial failure, the \glspl{pc} run a long way, get very tired, then fail.
+With a complete failure, the enemy outruns the \glspl{pc} immediately.
+With a partial failure, the \glspl{pc} run a long way, feel tired, then fail.
Such is life.
\end{multicols}
diff --git a/play.tex b/play.tex
index cd359e66..59a36254 100644
--- a/play.tex
+++ b/play.tex
@@ -26,7 +26,7 @@ This never entirely succeeds, so \glspl{pc} will often find themselves trying to
\item[\gls{gm}:]
Yes - three weeks passes every session.
And as usual -- we'll start in \pgls{broch} -- one of the \gls{guard} towers which sit between \glspl{village}.
- Mark off any rations or \glspl{ingredient} from last session -- they've all been eaten or gone rotten.
+ Mark off any rations or \glspl{ingredient} from last session -- if your character hasn't eaten them then they've gone rotten.
\glsadd{broch}%
\glsadd{village}%
\end{description}
@@ -131,7 +131,7 @@ This never entirely succeeds, so \glspl{pc} will often find themselves trying to
It says I'm a `Loner'.
\item[\gls{gm}:]
That makes sense.
- Family and social ties are very important in \gls{fenestra}, so people can end up in the \gls{guard} just because they don't have anyone arranging a safe position for them.
+ Family and social ties are vital in \gls{fenestra}, so people can end up in the \gls{guard} just because they don't have anyone arranging a safe position for them.
\item[Player 3:]
This equipment looks a bit rubbish.
Can't I get something better?
@@ -161,9 +161,8 @@ This never entirely succeeds, so \glspl{pc} will often find themselves trying to
What would they do?
\item[Player 3:]
He'd probably ask her when she's alone.
- Knock politely, and just explain he's not been given the tools to survive.
+ Knock politely, and just explain he's doesn't have the tools he needs to survive.
\end{description}
-
}{
Some people like to `roll for Charisma', because they want their characters to succeed, rather than make a performance.
Instead of asking for acting talent, I've found it's best to have people roll, then interpret that roll.
@@ -204,9 +203,9 @@ This never entirely succeeds, so \glspl{pc} will often find themselves trying to
It's near a swamp, so he names it `Sinkwall'.
\Gls{village} 2 has poisoned meat-on-sticks around its perimeter, to kill any wandering predators.
- It's a long way South, so he names it `Soumarch'.
+ It's a march South, so he thinks `South March', then names it `Soumarch'.
- The various \gls{village}-event charts and random tables shouldn't be considered `hard rules' -- they exist to support the \gls{gm}.
+ The \gls{gm} should not consider the \gls{village}-event charts and random tables `hard rules' -- they exist to support the \gls{gm} when they need to throw some chaos into the game.
You can find the random rolls in the \textit{Book of Judgement}%
\iftoggle{judgement}{, \autoref{encounters}, \autopageref{encounters}}{}.
}
@@ -255,7 +254,7 @@ This never entirely succeeds, so \glspl{pc} will often find themselves trying to
A bad roll can leave the buyer holding useless goods, or buying services from a chancer.
Most of the `secondary skills' (like Crafts and Wyldcrafting) can come in useful for trades.
- The `encounter' with traders could have been broken down into a back-and-forth series of `hail, good traveller', but skipping to the decision-points grants the game a faster pace.
+ The \gls{gm} could have broken the `encounter' with traders into a back-and-forth series of `hail, good traveller', but skipping to the decision-points gives the game a faster pace.
}
\sideBySide{
@@ -426,12 +425,11 @@ This never entirely succeeds, so \glspl{pc} will often find themselves trying to
The shortsword enters, and its snow-white skin splits, blue blood runs down the wound and the skin writhes, turning red, black, then mottled-brown.
\end{description}
}{
- The woodspy would usually flee at this point, but being bound by ice, and trapped, the troupe will destroy it in a moment.
-
- Once it dies, Laiquon will pull its beak out, to create \pgls{talisman} for a Water spell, then the troupe can sell the rest of the body to the farmers in the \gls{village} for a few copper and a couple of favours, like a nice place to rest.
+ The woodspy would usually flee at this point, but ice has trapped its lower tentacles, so the troupe will destroy it in a moment.
+ Once it dies, Laiquon will pull its beak out, to create \pgls{talisman} for a Water spell, then the troupe can sell the rest of the body to the farmers in the \gls{village} for some copper and a couple of favours, such as a nice place to rest.
The \gls{gm} hasn't introduced the real hooks yet -- the \gls{sq} \glspl{segment}.
- Last session saw several little plot-\glspl{segment} which provided foreshadowing for the swamp-hag's plans.
+ Last session involved small plot-\glspl{segment} which provided foreshadowing for the swamp-hag's plans.
The next \gls{segment} in the forests will be the reckoning, but if the players decide to stick to their mission, on the roads, the \gls{gm} will have to start a new \gls{sq} to throw at them.
Running multiple \glspl{sq} isn't a problem.
diff --git a/traits.tex b/traits.tex
index 50f2dd8c..07a52e14 100644
--- a/traits.tex
+++ b/traits.tex
@@ -37,13 +37,13 @@ From these simple three, we can derive the other Traits, such as \glspl{hp}, the
\noindent
Each character's Attributes range from -3 to +3, although most people have a Bonus of `0', in most Attributes.
-Since these Attribute Bonuses adjust nearly every roll a character makes, they make for an excellent character.
+Since these Attribute Bonuses adjust nearly every roll a character makes, they will determine the success or failure of a multitude of plans.
These averages vary by race.
-Elves have a +1 penalty to Wits, so their `normal', is the equivalent of being quite sharp among other peoples.
-Meanwhile, humans (being the tallest of races) have a standard +1 Bonus to Strength, so their normal would be considered very strong by others' standards.
+Elves have a +1 penalty to Wits, so their `normal', is the equivalent of being notably sharp among other peoples.
+Meanwhile, humans (being the tallest of races) have a standard +1 Bonus to Strength, so their normal would be considered giant and powerful by others' standards.
-The various monstrous predators of \gls{fenestra} often have Attributes which go beyond the numbers here -- there are no hard limits!
+The monstrous predators of \gls{fenestra} often have Attributes which go beyond the numbers here -- there are no hard limits!
\subsection{Body Attributes}
\index{Body Attributes}
@@ -112,7 +112,7 @@ A lot of Wyldcrafting means that someone can farm plants, and probably hunts, an
1 & A novice, who makes occasional use of the Skill \\
- 2 & A trained professional, who has spent many years in these activities. \\
+ 2 & A trained professional, who has spent years in these activities. \\
3 & A master of the art, who spends weeks focussing on the minutiae of every aspect of the Skill. \\
@@ -142,7 +142,7 @@ Have a look at this talented member of the \gls{guard}:
\setcounter{Vigilance}{0}
}
-With only a few Skills, we can see a wealth of abilities.
+Each Skill determines a wealth of different abilities.
\begin{description}
\item[\roll{Strength}{Deceit}]
@@ -169,7 +169,7 @@ With only a few Skills, we can see a wealth of abilities.
gives her +3 when ingratiating herself with a new crowd.
\end{description}
-Many pairings of an Attribute plus Skill will not come up very often, but you should think of each likely pairing as an individual talent.
+Many pairings of an Attribute plus Skill will not come up often, but you should think of each likely pairing as an individual talent.
For example, a character with a bonus to Academics and Vigilance has individual bonuses for \textit{forgery}, \textit{recall}, \textit{resisting enchantments}, \textit{storytelling}, \textit{keeping watch}, \textit{investigation}, and \textit{spotting illusions}.
It's only two Skills on the sheet, but that's seven different ratings the character has.
@@ -194,7 +194,7 @@ A shepherd, for example, will gain a +2 Bonus for herding sheep, so even when th
\subsection{Academics}
The Academics Skill covers a love of learning facts, some of which may one day prove useful.
-Academics study history, architecture, local politics, literature, and (very commonly) how to study more.
+Academics study history, architecture, local politics, literature, and how to study more.
This `study of study', can involve reading, mnemonics, and teaching.
\sidebox{
@@ -222,7 +222,7 @@ This `study of study', can involve reading, mnemonics, and teaching.
A full auditorium can grant a +2 Bonus to the roll due to good acoustics, or a big hat could grant a +1 Bonus for drawing everyone's attention.
\item[\roll{Dexterity}{Academics}]
- covers forgery, as the work needs a steady hand, along with an excellent understanding of the meaning of every material and symbol upon coins, signet rings, and letters.
+ covers forgery, as the work needs a steady hand, along with an understanding of the meaning of every material and symbol upon coins, signet rings, and letters.
To perform well, forgers need a large variety of materials, in order to select something which precisely mimics their target.
\item[\roll{Intelligence}{Academics}]
@@ -231,7 +231,7 @@ This `study of study', can involve reading, mnemonics, and teaching.
Libraries grant a bonus to the roll.
\item[\roll{Wits}{Academics}]
lets people resist spells of the Mind Sphere.
- Some think this protection comes from so many years of thinking in terms of abstraction, while others say that reading too much twists the mind, making it less intelligible to anyone who hasn't gained the same books, and therefore hasn't gained the same world-view.
+ Some think this protection comes from so years of thinking in terms of abstraction, while others say that reading too much twists the mind, making it less intelligible to anyone who hasn't gained the same books, and therefore hasn't gained the same world-view.
\item[\roll{Charisma}{Academics}]
covers storytelling.
@@ -304,13 +304,13 @@ This covers all manner of fancy movements, from somersaults and rolling to climb
It was bronze mesh, filled with glass, hard set into the wall with deep nails.
Nothing could get in, except Sunlight.
- He took out his chisel, rested his elbows on the window's tiny sill, rummaged his foot along the ivy to find the best place to steady his body, then pulled a hammer from his tool-belt.
+ He took out his chisel, rested his elbows on the window's sill, rummaged his foot along the ivy to find the best place to steady his body, then pulled a hammer from his tool-belt.
- A tiny `clank' noise went out as he punctured a glass piece at the base of the bronze-meshed window.
+ A `clank' went out as he punctured a glass piece at the base of the bronze-meshed window.
He looped the hammer's claw round to puncture another bit of glass from the inside, and let it land below.
With his work done, Coalgrit dropped the tools, letting them land in the soft earth below with a timid `thunk', and spread his weight across different ivy strands once more.
- He climbed down the building's various floors with a plan in mind.
+ He climbed down the building's floors with a plan in mind.
Collecting his tools and a single shared of glass from the ground, Coalgrit began walking home, and thought over the equipment for that night -- one knotted rope to tie through the openings in the bronze grate, and a saw to cut through the rotten window-latch.
After that, everyone would follow up the rope without issue.
@@ -404,7 +404,7 @@ Exactly what the character can craft depends on their other Skills.
``Shame'', one said.
``We'll miss his arrows, especially this far out''.
- The \glspl{guard} knew their duty -- they would have to enter the house, and kill it, so they entered very slowly, with swords out, and carefully stabbed at every bed, cushion, shelf, or any other medium-sized object they could stab.
+ The \glspl{guard} knew their duty -- they would have to enter the house, and kill it, so they entered slowly, with swords out, and carefully stabbed at every bed, cushion, shelf, or any other medium-sized object they could stab.
``Real shame'', one of them said with a long sigh.
@@ -973,7 +973,7 @@ But it might also occur because the character has 4 \glspl{ep} and then Damage r
Characters may reach a maximum penalty of -5 due to \glspl{ep}, after which they fall unconscious.
If the character is accruing \glspl{ep} from running or wrestling, they would normally simply pass out at this point, but if they are gaining \glspl{ep} swimming or climbing a cliff, the character will almost certainly just die.
-\Glspl{ep} cannot be mitigated with \gls{fp}. Characters who can luck their way out of being shot by arrows and roasted by dragons can quite easily be punched and dragged away, or collapse after a long run.
+\Glspl{ep} cannot be mitigated with \gls{fp}. Characters who can luck their way out of being shot by arrows and roasted by dragons can easily be punched and dragged away, or collapse after a long run.
\subsubsection{Special Categories}
--
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